I am exhausted. Between the chasing and entertaining of the wee one Friday and Saturday and this malaise that is afflicting me, I am just beat. Physically and emotionally. The yellow toilet in the barn starting spewing raw sewage onto the property and when I informed the landlord (Cousin It) he said “oh no….so do you have the rent?” Now I have to go all the way to his place to use the restroom.
The lovely lady we lease Apache from never called me back when she got to bring the horses home from evacuation. I called yesterday, again, and left a message. I called again today and it turns out she was avoiding talking to me because she was upset. It seems that there was some damage to their property from the Santa Ana winds that fueled the fires and she called her landlord to report it. Now the landlord has turned into some kind of freaky bitch and has forbid her from letting us lease the horse or come over and ride. Also, I gather they have to move. They are selling Apache. She would give us the horse for free, but we just don’t have the money to board. Well, we could board, but not the vet bills, farrier bills and feed. Bear is heartbroken. And when my kid’s heart is broken, mine is.
Additionally, one of my teeth has cracked in four places and I need a crown. My portion, $460. Not happening. So I chew on only one side of my mouth. Add the fact, that today, I feel like I am coming down with something.
I am still terribly depressed about the last two weeks. I still wake up smelling smoke or wake from nightmares. I cry at the drop of a hat. I can’t enjoy anything. It seems like the world is out to get me. If Mr. Vixen’s permanent disability doesn’t come through soon, I don’t know what we will do. I have no problem stringing Cousin It along for the rent until we get paid especially in light of the fact that we have no working toilet, but it still grates on me and keeps me from sleeping. My registration expired on the 31st, but I don’t have the money to pay it right now. Bear is supposed to get her license next week, but she still need two behind the wheel classes and I don’t have the $198 for those. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t go to the doctor because I can’t afford the copay for the visit, let alone a copay for medication.
I just hate my life today. I wish Ladybug was here to distract me, but I would probably fall asleep while we watched Blues Clues for the millionth time.
I suck at this picture thing, but at least I posted.